A Question of Bravery
by MidnightLove7
Summary: What does it mean to be brave? What is right and what is wrong? How will this young druid girl (Chrystal - my own character) survive in Camelot? What is her fate?
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: This is my first Merlin fanfic so sorry if it isn't great... also half the characters will be from my own imagination but the story will still follow what generally happens in the series and legends :) hope you enjoy it... I'll add more soon**

_What does it mean to be brave? Must you stand up for what you believe in? Jump without looking? Or must you sacrifice the thing you treasure the most?_

_But if bravery is to sacrifice your most treasured possession, then what would you sacrifice to be brave? Your freedom? Your heart? Your soul? Your other half?_

_But then if you sacrifice your other half to become brave, would not your heart go with it and therefore your soul too? And if you sacrifice your heart along with your soul and your other half; is not your freedom then too, gone? Your mind would be weakened with such a loss that the power of manipulation would barely be needed to control you._

_But if to become brave really meant that you must sacrifice your heart, soul and freedom with your other half to the power of manipulation, would you still do it? Would it not be easier to sit with your mind intact, surrounded by those you love even if you must suffer through dictations? But then is that not the same thing as being manipulated? And if is the same thing as being manipulated, then cowardice cannot be too different from bravery, right?_

But what is right, and what is wrong?

My name is Chrystal and I am a young druid girl living within the streets of Camelot but I sense my fate is about to change. I do not yet understand my powers, none of my people ever did and they never will for all my friends and family are dead. Except one. But whether my visions will come to pass I do not know. Whether I shall see him again will be up to him. Only he can control the stormy seas on which he rides. I don't remember much about him and I doubt he remembers me at all, but I do know one thing: his name - Mordred.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: sorry if it isn't all that great but I hope you enjoy it and I'll start writing chapter 3 soon :)**

The morning sun is bright here in Camelot, but the days are getting colder. I sleep with three blankets to keep my toes from turning blue but that does not stop me wandering around the forest, looking for beautiful things. This morning is no different. The radiant sun shines down through the leaves, creating beautiful patterns in the shadows. The wind blows softly eastwards, turning a pile of fallen leaves into a beautiful whirlwind revealing a patch of mushrooms. They are slightly overgrown but they will suffice for tonight's meal. I walk towards them, bending carefully so I do not completely ruin my dress and pull them out of the ground, placing them in my woven basket. There is only a small handful, but I only have to worry about keeping myself alive during these darkening times. I have no sisters to talk to, no brothers for protection, no mother for advice and no father for guidance. I do not even have a friend to whom I can turn.

I was only a child, 7 at the time, when my mother's life was taken. She had just given birth to a beautiful baby girl with a tuft of blond hair but she was a stillborn. Not a single breath came out of her. It was quite eerie, as if a shadow was laughing at us. But of course that was just a feeling. But still it brought tears to my eyes. My mother was in shock; she could not comprehend what was happening and my father just sat there, silently. It was as if his life had been taken from him, as if he was asleep. There was nothing behind his deep blue eyes, all the emotions had disappeared. He seemed to be living just for the sake of it. My brother, Kasper, started yelling at him, at me, telling us to do something, anything, but what could I do? I was only a child and it wasn't my father's right to grant life and death. It was at that point that mother started to breathe unevenly. Her voice was raspy and her eyes wild. Never had I seen her eyes so wild before. She clutched on to my father who seemed to awaken to her touch and tried to form words. I couldn't bear the sight of her like this. More tears came to my eyes and Kasper shooed me outside and I didn't object. He didn't stay with me though, he went and re-joined our parents and left me to sit and weep over my nightmares which had come to pass.

I sit at the roots of an old oak tree and look up to the sky. Birdsong fills the air occasionally, making everything glimmer with hope and happiness, but behind that glimmer is a blatant truth. Fear is starting to run free. Fear is starting to overcome hope. Fear is starting to win.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter :) it might be a little bit slow to start but I promise, as I write more, I'll try to pick up the pace. If you have any suggestions or think I could improve something please let me know. :D Thanks.**

Walking back down the cobbled streets of Camelot, you can see how much has changed since Uther's reign. No more are the beggars on the street for there are no more ridiculous taxes. Arthur is a wise King. He married for love and from the relationship he and Queen Guinevere share, the kingdom has blossomed into a beautiful array of colours that can live side by side in harmony. Don't get me wrong, there is still war outside these four walls of Camelot, but for now there is peace.

I smile to myself as I walk past the people of Camelot, thinking of these happier times whilst working my way towards the heart of Camelot when I stumble on a loose stone and fall onto the pavement. I don't hurt myself much, just a couple of grazes of my arms and knees but as I rise, I feel dizziness. I don't recall hitting my head on anything but I raise my hand just above my ear where I feel a bump. I must have stood there for a moment too long because an old lady, whose name I do not know, steadily holds me as she steers me in the direction of the court physician.

I don't recall much more after that, apart from murmurs in the background about clumsiness and gratitude before I find myself drifting off to sleep. You would think the pain would help fight off the nightmares, and the dizziness would not bring focus on them, but like most of this past week, my sleep is only filled with what I hope to be nightmares and _only_ nightmares.

For now I am stood by a tree. It is not too different from the oak tree I was sat by before. However there lies a net on the floor. A trap. Cautiously I step further away. I hear voices. Voices that sound familiar with every step back I take. I take another look at the net. It looked useless, as if someone had already been caught within it. That's when I realise. I quickly turn to run towards the voices when the scene around me changes.

I am in a bare cavern, King Arthur lays unconscious on the floor as does Morgana and _he_ is there, holding a knife. He looks up, and for a moment it seems his eyes linger on mine. There seems to be a strange connection building between us, as if our paths our entwined, but I cannot look any longer for his eyes are unsettling. I close my eyes. When I open them again, I am sat up in a large room filled with old books and the scent of chamomile. His name barely escapes my lips, "Mordred." I whisper.  
"What did you say?" came on old voice from behind a set of vials.  
"Nothing," I reply, "I was just curious as to where I am."  
"In the castle," the man replied, walking towards me with a vial, "You banged your head pretty hard there dear, but you're all better now."  
"Thank you for treating me…?"  
"Gaius, the court physician." He fills in.  
"Well I wouldn't want to impose on you, so I'll be off now, but thank you once more." I hurriedly say, for I feel uncomfortable in this room.  
"Hang on dear," he says, clasping my hand before I get up, "I want you to take some of this remedy to help with your restlessness and ease the pain before you go sleep for the bump will cause some aggravation before it is completely gone."  
"Of course Gaius, you, after all, know what would be best for me." I say as politely as I can, for he does not remember me. But I remember him, back from times ago before magic was outlawed and even from times when it was. You do not forget the name, or face of the person who was your last hope.  
"You never told me your name?" he asks just as I am about to leave.  
"Chrystal," I reply, "Just Chrystal." I say, as I leave him behind, leaving the door open knowing he will not pursue me after he remembers what little he did to help my father; to help me.


End file.
